I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
