omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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