My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
