I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
