He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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