Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
