I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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