Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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