U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
