just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
