just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize