do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bring me that man meat
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
