Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
