IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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