and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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