My hand turned me down
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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