theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
