Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
