im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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