I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
id be glad to
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
