Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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