every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
