will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
