The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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