Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
