Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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