I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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