Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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