erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
