You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
