No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
