Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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