is your mom at the bar?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
