kristin has been a bad kristin
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
