ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
