I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
