Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
