I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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