I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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