I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
