Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
