sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
