i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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