ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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