you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
