so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
