worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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