I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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