You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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