i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
