i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
