Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
