Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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