so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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