He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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