I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
