GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
