It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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