she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
