Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
