We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize