just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She even gives head with a lisp.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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