before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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