i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
