hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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