17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
