Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
