is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So much rum. So many feels.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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