i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
did you just send me my own nude
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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