he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
